Take 2:
I had these thoughts cross my mind for a new blog post, so I grabbed my laptop, plugged it in and was met with another test. "How bad do you want to write this post?" is the question I am asking myself as I become frustrated with an inconvenient situation. I was about 5 words into typing up a blog before my laptop starts experiencing technical difficulties, and just randomly shut down. "Well Mercury is in retrograde" are my initial thoughts about the malfunctioning technology before me. The laptop gave some resistance, but after about a minute or so it turned back on and I find myself once again writing these words for your reading, the second attempt.
Originally, I had my mind set on packaging up some candles I made yesterday. I was really excited to go into my studio and get them ready to be welcomed into someone's possession. I had tried a new pouring method, and upon first look I say, "absolutely perfect". The tops could not have come out better, completely smooth with no blemishes. However, upon further review, I noticed the adhesion on the sides did not match the beauty of the tops. There are high amounts of air bubbles trapped between the wax and jar, creating an unpleasant looking product. I instantly put down the candle and recognize I am not up for the battle. I am fighting with the elements of mother nature because my new candle studio is not temperature controlled at the moment. My husband can see my frustration and says, "just come in here to smoke and relax dude". I obliged by pulling up a chair and began to smoke the frustrations away. After a few minutes I am able to distance myself from all the chaos, I can think more clearly and process what I am feeling.
I gathered up the words to express what I was experiencing, and that was discouraged. I have been making candles for 6 years now, and they used to come out so beautifully. I find myself wishing that I could create that product again. The temperature issue is putting a damper on my goals, and I find myself jumping into the negative thoughts of "f* this shit" and think about quitting. I then realize if I do that, I am choosing to stay stuck in the same place that is no longer benefiting me. For me now, this is my only option, to not give up and keep going. I know I will be extremely upset with myself if give up on my goals and continue to sit here, remaining small.
Once I was able to calm down and clear my mind, I had the capabilities to think about the situation at hand and find the courage to face this challenge head on. Finding this even ground allowed me to come up with a game plan, beginning with accepting my fate and not allowing myself to dwell on the inconvenient situation before me. I proceed to gather my items for my painting kit, and as I am grabbing the canvas the idea for this topic came flooding through my mind.
"The resistance is real, and the more you resist the more it will persist"
It's important to listen to your intuition, the resistance could be a warning sign that this path is not for you, or on the other hand it could be a test to see how badly you want something. Everyone faces challenges, sometimes things come easy and sometimes they don't. The severity of challenges will also fluctuate from time to time. In the challenges I faced tonight, in my opinion are nothing serious. However, when you have underlying factors of feeling overwhelmed and are burning out, these little, miniscule inconveniences can seem like the end of the world. When the tough gets going, it will be within those moments you are tested on how badly you want something. If you really have your heart set on something, go for it and ride out the waves. Eventually you will reach your destination and you'll look back at how much you have learned and grew from the situation. You will feel so much more fulfilled when you can enjoy what you worked so hard for. I hope this knowledge I have gained will help inspire anyone reading this listen to their intuition and never give up on the end goal.
Until the next session my friends,
xoxo,
Brandy